Picture © Julia Gat

I’M ABOUT TO TEXT JULIA

Staging Stasis @ WORM Rotterdam, 2022 

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I’m about to text Julia

I’m about to text Julia
but: Babe, are you okay?
You haven’t touched your nachosaurus

I’m about to text Julia
but apparently I am busy putting on too much perfume

I’m about to text Julia
but I have to go take a wee,
a one-drop wee that pressures my bladder like two litres of pee

I’m about to text Julia
but don’t you marvel at how stinky asparagus pee is?

I’m about to text Julia
but I have to grope my belly fat in search for a marginal trace of ab muscles

I’m about to text Julia
but I am complaining about something

I’m about to text Julia
but I am bitching with someone

I’m about to text Julia
but I am being jealous about everyone

I’m about to text Julia
but I am mentally preparing arguments
for future fights that will clearly never happen

I’m about to text Julia
but I am applying to will-be-rejected grants

I’m about to text Julia
but I spend a whole afternoon contemplating how we were ripped off
by providing free material for a book called The Autoethnographic Turn in Design.
More like: The Auto-exploitative Turn in Design.

I’m about to text Julia
but my bank account dips from a thousand euros to 999

I’m about to text Julia
but I get an email from the work agency:
Do you want to build a successful career
in the meatpacking business?

I’m about to text Julia
but I am unwillingly straight-acting  

I’m about to text Julia
but I am over-intellectualizing

I’m about to text Julia
but I’m probably just making excuses